My Momma's Surgery

Last week we experienced some health hiccups for Abigail. It's always scary when you think something is over and that nightmare of an issue come knocking again. 

My Mom was in the waiting room while I spent a good hour + in the doctors office with Abigail. 

Just yesterday my Mom and I talked about that whole ordeal and the many moments too-similar that we have experienced with Abigail's health. (It is the scariest job being a parent) 

Apparently it is even more scary for a parent to watch their child agonize over their OWN child. 

Abigail and Meme the day before, soaking their feet for some homemade pedicures.

Right now I'm experiencing something a little different, but the pain/ stress/ anxiety feels the same. 

My own Momma is having surgery right now. Abigail's surgery was just 2 months and one day ago. Then my best friend living allll the way in Texas gave her kidney to her husband less than 2 weeks after that. My heart has never been so heavy with medical issues affecting those closest to me. 

But my Momma, the strongest person I know, has been in severe back pain for about 10 months now due to an injury. The first time I saw her use her cane was at my sisters Bridal Shower back in June. I felt a weird mix of emotions ranging from sympathy to anger. Seeing your parent get older, sick, or even dying is hard to process. 

And here we are today with all those strange emotions bubbling up. The scariest part to me is the anesthesia. The greatest hope I have is that this will relieve her back pain and she will be able to return to "normal" life after she recovers. The part that upsets me most is that they will be putting metal rods in her back. (Why it makes me angry, I don't know, it's just upsetting)

It's hard being someones child, watching them in pain for all these months, resulting in surgery and the recovery process isn't going to be easy for her either. It's going to be difficult before it gets better. 

So in the past two months I've been the Mom watching my kid recover from surgery and now I'm the kid that will be watching my Mom recover from surgery. Honestly, these two roles feel similar. Heightened anxiety the week leading up to it, sleepless nights, wanting to cling tight and separate myself both at the same time. 

Maybe you have been in this boat before for your kid, parent or loved one. Maybe you handled it like a champ. Maybe you cried every night because you had no idea what you were doing or how you should be "feeling" about it.

Say a prayer for my Mom. If you aren't reading this today, the day of her surgery, pray anyway. She has a few months of recovery ahead of her.

This is the ultimate hope that I cling to when I'm unsure of everything else:

2 Corinthians 4:7-9

 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.