Loaves and Fishes

My Pastor Rich was the first person I heard say this about our Nepali- Bhutanese church plant. They are like "loaves and fishes" more and more keep showing up.

When the opportunity came for me to first interact with our Nepali girls, it was to drive them about an hour and a half to a youth conference. I borrowed our Pastor's mini-van and according to the numbers and seats in the car we were good to go. Until that afternoon when there were even more kids who showed up.

Two weeks ago was the first time I met with the young Nepali women to disciple them. Six girls showed up. My heart was full.

This time however, a larger group gathered including the teens, one young girl and several older women, including a sweet old lady dressed in traditional clothes with paint on her forehead who pressed her hands together in a prayer pose and greeted me with "namaste".

We gathered in a cozy room filled with sofas and as I began to speak, there was a knock at the door and one woman entered. Another knock, another woman. "loaves and fishes" came to mind as this happened over and over again. The last I counted was about 14 women. And again, my heart was full.

The age range, the culture, the Gospel being told with the Bible and life stories, sweet translations of a foreign tongue. Captivating.

I'm learning more and more that 1) "missions" isn't a place, it is a mind-set, a way of life and 2) I always thought God would bring me overseas to serve as a missionary, but here in our great city of Manchester, NH, God has brought overseas (international people/ refugees) to me. What a beautiful thing.

Our new dear friend Silvanus reading Abigail her favorite Dr. Suess book after
 introducing him to a dinner of chicken pot pie and pumpkin scone.

How Can They?

It has been too long.
Too long since I have blogged, yet it has not been far from my mind. God has blessed our little family with so much possibility and though much is still unknown or set in stone, it is all too exciting to not share! Alas, this is not the time nor the post to do so. Let that suspense lead you into prayer for our family and ministry Cwtrials.

In reading through Romans 10 today during my precious almost-two-years-old nap time, I was bursting with joy and "amens"! With all that I have strategically planned for blogging, to begin next month, THIS could NOT wait. It is His word that interrupts my grace-filled life, and that I will not hinder.

Let me just whisper to you some of the history behind this and why my heart is so struck-
ever since I was a young girl, the Lord has impressed upon my heart a passion for missions. I married a man who loves the Lord and together we desperately seek to see Him glorified through our lives, our family, our ministry. We just celebrated a beautiful weekend with a friend who poured into us hope and truth and vision for our unique ministry. He's been where we are and God has brought him to a point now where he can humbly pour into our lives from the wisdom he has received. What a blessed time we are still processing through!

My prayer, written out on a piece of paper and again in my journal goes like this "My hearts desire and prayer to God for the (Turkish, Albanian, Greek, Zimbabwean, New Englanders, Napali) is that they may be saved!" It is Romans 10:1 and when I skimmed this first verse yesterday, I was stunned to see Paul's letter to the Romans, praying for the Israelites, to be MY very prayer for these people groups (listed in no particular order).

It later goes on to say in verse 14 &15, "How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news?'" (inside quote from Isaiah 52:7)

How can they?...call on the one they have not believed in, if they have not heard, if nobody has preached it to them? How can they preach unless they are sent? "Faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ." (Romans 10:17)

Don't get the wrong idea, dismiss that picture in your mind of stoic missionaries to foreign lands, dressed and living as if they never left the US, not willing to get down in the dirt and work with the people they are among, or standing on soap boxes with bullhorns preaching only condemnation.
That is not the Gospel. That is NOT the example Christ set for us, His humble life displayed throughout scripture, befriending the adulteress and washing the dirty feet of His companions... a job meant for the "lowly".

The fact is, the truth screaming here and now even in 2012 with all of the technology at our fingertips if you are reading this... There are still people in our world, in our own country that have never heard the Gospel message, never seen a "little-Jesus" in action. How can they believe if they have never heard?

We don't need to travel to foreign lands or live among the Refugees and immigrants here in America to preach the gospel to ears that have never heard. The question is, if you are a follower of Christ, are you ready and willing to share it? Are you reading the Bible to "know your stuff", are you praying, pleading on behalf of those around you, are you living it out in your everyday life and not just at church or among certain people? Truth is, do you believe the Gospel message for yourself? That Christ came and died to give you new life. For you.

Go ahead and sing the song "Jesus loves me this I know..." But do you know that even if it was just YOU He was dying for, He would have still died. It is so easy to be caught up in "Jesus died for everyone" and follow that in our heads by telling ourselves lies that we aren't good enough. Honestly, there isn't anything you could ever do to make Him love you more, or love you any less. He loves you.

I say this all because I am learning to embrace this for myself. I'm not who I was 3-4 years ago. I was so eager to share the Gospel, but I wasn't believing its truth for myself and when those Christians weren't around I sure wasn't acting like it either.

Learning to live in God's grace, accepting it and believing it is the first step to living a life of freedom. It is where the road to living a Gospel-filled life begins, enabling you to truly live and giving you the tools to share the Truth of our Life Giver. Embracing the message of Christ, through His word, equipping us to preach it "so that there may be righteousness for everyone who believes." (Romans 10:4)

Big Vision Big Dream

Last summer, while at Soul Fest I remember whispering to my husband "Cwtrials is going to be here next summer!" It seemed a little far fetched at the time since the vision and launch of Cwtrials had just been born. I'm a dreamer, I know this. But I don't believe any dream is too big when you have God working with you to proclaim His name. 

Just 12 months later, we returned from Soul Fest again... this time as Cwtrials vendors. 10 1/2 demos later, 5 nights, 2 full-time helpers assisting us, and even bigger visions have been cast for next year.

We thought it sounded a little crazy last summer when we felt God pulling us away from youth ministry and working with our church at the time. We stepped away for 3 months as our daughter came into this world, we struggled through unemployment and a dream for Craig's career having been crushed just weeks before sweet Abigail was born. It was a lonely, desperate and scary time for us. We watched our daughter battle something within her as we sought Doctors and Specialists out, sometimes going 4 times in one week.

All this was going on as we earnestly prayed and were ministered to by close friends and family. We both have felt a call on our lives for ministry, but we needed to take this crucial time to see if we were headed in the right direction of ministry- that being church ministry.

I remember so clearly the day Craig came home and shared his heart with me that he believed he was supposed to use his trials biking skills to share the Gospel. I didn't laugh. I didn't cry (though we were so stinkin dirt poor and I was so stressed it would have been an appropriate emotional response) I just agreed to join my husband ENTHUSIASTICALLY on this journey God was taking us. We accepted Cwtrials as our call to ministry. And can I tell you something? God has not stopped blessing our socks off and reaffirming what we are doing. 12 months later and we are going stronger than ever. We have an incredible support system and so many people all around the world have messaged us encouraging us to keep doing what we are doing!

One scripture that I have clung to this past year comes from 1 Corinthians 2:3  "I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power." (emphasis mine) Craig and I are both gifted in many ways that the Lord has enabled and equipped us to be living examples of the Gospel. In all of it though, we know and we feel inadequate because any good that comes from what we do is not because of what WE do, but rather us allowing the Holy Spirit to work through us.

2 Corinthians 12 goes on to tell how in our weakness, in the trials and hardships we face, Christ is able to shine His light into those painful, dark places of our hearts, bringing about healing, blessing and bringing Glory to His own name. What we went through during the first 3 months of our daughters life was the most awful season of our lives, but having gone through it all and come out a conqueror through Christ's power, I wouldn't trade one hardship.

So this post really didn't share a lot on our time at Soul Fest which many of you have messaged me to hear about. I promise to share more over the coming weeks as we process and as we get to see evidence of our time there bloom. Our hearts are bursting with joy over the responses we heard from people at Soul Fest and with our follow up as well.

Our vision for 12 months from now is to be doing Cwtrials full time. 

It isn't just about Craig riding his bike, but God has gifted us both with speaking and leadership abilities and we share a heart for discipleship training. So while we are excited to see where God takes us around the country and world, we are humbled that He has given us a heart to help teach and train others to be more effective leaders in their community. Pray for us. We need wisdom as we book events throughout this year while Craig still works full time and we have a little one at home. Our journey these past 12 months has been unbelievable. I can't wait to see what the next 12 months unveil!

Check out our website to learn more www.cwtrials.com We also have a Facebook page and Twitter account... and YouTube and Flickr and Paypal... yeah we are a little into social networking ;)

Why I Do What I Do pt.1

This could end up being a long blog entry.
Soo, I'll break it up into a few parts to keep you reading over the next few weeks.
I was inspired to write this after my friend Jessi Connolly blogged about her calling as she started her business. Check it out at Naptime Diaries.

Why I do what I do: pt.1
I was inspired to start REDEMPTION soap this past January of 2011. 
How it began? My dear friend Rob Chifokoyo came to visit us for the month of December alllll the way from Zimbabwe, Africa. (Best Christmas ever!!) He shared about his ministry that he an his fiance Lisa Rouse (check her blog at Redeeming Love) has started back home in Zim. Their hearts for their own people melted mine. They are loving on the "forgotten" people of their country. Orphans. Widows. Elderly. Prostitutes. They are unashamed of the Gospel and when I think about their ministry I just picture Jesus smiling. Sometimes crying because of how beautiful their love is. Their team that makes up Dare2Serve is passionate about being the hands and feet of Jesus Christ.

 Rob with sweet orphan kids

And like all ministry, it costs money. Nail polish to paint nails with the prostitutes, pizza to hang with the orphans, small gifts to the elderly. We have seen and learned in all of our short years of ministry that it costs. Time, money, or hearts. So Craig and I live, work and do ministry here in NH, how in the world could we help support Dare2Serve? I prayed and prayed and prayed asking God to show me how I could support my brother and sister.

I have always wanted to be an entrepreneur. I want to contribute to my family financially (more on that in pt 2). I just didn't know where to begin. I needed vision. I needed passion. 


REDEMPTION soap was born in January 2011. It was literally all of a sudden. I learned of a friend who started a cloth diaper store Petite Bottoms in NH. I was like "WOW I should do something like that! I am passionate about health/environmental stuff." And literally my next thought was laundry powder. I had heard of people making it themselves, so I started experimenting. After countless recipes and trying to just get back to the basics, keeping it pure, simple, inexpensive and mission minded. 

The name REDEMPTION soap came a little later. I asked a friend for some ideas. One of which was Mother Earth's Redemption. I didn't like the Mother Earth part for obvs reasons but I couldn't stop thinking about REDEMPTION. I wanted the name to reflect the heart of the business. I wanted REDEMPTION soap to share the gospel and how fitting- redemption made me think of clean, white as snow. Perfect.

So that was the very start of it. The motivation to start a business and the name behind it.

I am eager to share the mission of the business. Where the moneyssss go and why I am crazy enough to keep on doing what I launched on April 1, 2011.

I try to keep each entry a less than 5 min read, so I'll stop here, write the other parts and post them over the next few days. Check out the links attached and show some love/ support to the people/ businesses mentioned!