I said Yes! (Part 2)

{Why did I write this in two parts?

Because nobody wants to read a long post. 

 But there is too much to keep this short.}

Find part 1 here.

A few months ago, I asked my husband if he would go out with me. We were new to the area and couldn't find a sitter, so we all loaded up in the car. I was so awkward and nervous in the car. I was probably scaring my husband, like I had bad news to break to him.
It wasn't bad news.
Just big news.

I shared how for months now, I knew that God was calling me to go overseas on a short-term trip. But it didn't make sense. We travel full-time nearly half of the year, can barely make ends meet as it is, and I'm a MOM. I can't just ditch my kids and husband to fly around the world... and do what exactly? I still didn't know. But I knew He was pressing me.

I rambled on about how God had gone from whispering this to making it glaringly obvious. But it still didn't make sense, and Craig was probably going to discourage it... or at least I wanted him to. The excuses kept coming. Craig finally interrupted me and said "Yes. Do it. Go where God is telling you. Without me. Without the kids. Do it!" And he was so excited. I looked at him with shock and disgust. I wanted him to say no. To be the reasoning voice, since he is the level thinker. He said GO. We talked a lot more in depth, about my own heart struggles and growth that he had seen in me. 

But what did this all even mean? I had preconceived opinions on short-term international mission trips. How did this all fit with my own convictions? 

We talked, I reached out to contacts, we continued to pray. I knocked on the doors I thought would make sense to knock on. In a region I had been. I didn't know what exactly was going to happen, but I hoped that it would be some kind of "You're an answer to prayer!" type of thing.

[Insert a long silence mixed with longing that was not my own and still quite unknown.]

One day, my dear friend who recently accepted Jesus called me in a crisis. She knew she was supposed to go to Ethiopia with her church. She and I were on the same page as far as why she shouldn't go. I mean, Africa. Everyone goes to Africa. And it would be with her mega-church. She would have to fundraise like $3,000 in 5 weeks or something crazy. All preconceived thoughts and reasoning went out the window as we talked. It ended with "I don't understand why this is a crisis. Obviously God is leading you to Ethiopia." We wrestled with what "calling" and "leading" even meant, since those words are so easily used in American Christian circles. I told her that my mind and my heart were currently conflicted, but it was quite obvious what she was to do next. 

And then it was my turn.

I got an email from our church missions pastor that afternoon asking if we could talk on the phone the next day. I had emailed him weeks ago. Now he writes back?! Of all days. When my mind and heart conflict so much when it comes to short term missions. Yet this girl who just recently started walking with Jesus, who was crying over not being able to use a hair dryer in Africa just decided she was going to forgo all reasoning and GO. She said YES!

Within 10 days I had 3 conversations with missions pastors and never before had it been so obvious what I was to do next. I mean, it made sense. Like I said, it was quite obvious. My stomach was already Nepali. Some of my favorite people in the world are from Nepal and two of my favorite American's are getting ready to move their family to Nepal. (Insert shameless plug to the Miller's going to Nepal.)  It wasn't the country, or the region I had in my head. I said YES to wherever God was going to send me, but I honestly thought it would be to a place I didn't really desire to go. And Nepal, well, I wouldn't even entertain the thought of going to Nepal because that was impossible. I cannot even tell you why I thought it to be impossible. But seeing how going on any short-term trip overseas was SO not on my radar these last 5 years, like AT ALL.

It seems like it was the plan all along. Like my babies. All of a sudden, that 9 month long pregnancy, labor and delivery don't seem that long or that big of a deal. But if you told me that at 41 weeks pregnant with Jakob, I would have punched you in the face. Literally. 

At the end of those 10 days, I had said yes to going to Nepal in December for 2 weeks...
but wait, there's more....
and Craig said yes to going to Nepal in March for 2 weeks.
Each of us with clearly laid out purpose and plan. Partnering with the local Nepali Church. Churches our friends planted with Global Mission Nepal!

When I asked our friend Dan if his secret plan was to get us to fall in love and move to Nepal, his answer surprised me. He said no. He shared that he thinks we would be more effective in short term trips to Nepal. He is from Nepal. He gets the culture and the spiritual climate more than I ever cook. And he was affirming a short term partnership?! This shook all of my preconceived ideas.

You see, Dan is like the Godfather of Nepali Missions. He's the (not old) wise man who is filled with so much humility, passion, knowledge, love, conviction. After 6 years of knowing his family, I only grow in my respect for each of them. The mission organization that he founded- Global Mission Nepal has a goal of planting 100 churches in Nepal by 2020 and they have planted 63! We met in New Hampshire 6 years ago, where he planted the first Nepali Church in NH and served as the Church Planting Catalyst for the North American Mission Board (NAMB-who we were partnered with for 4 years) for Southeast Asian Churches.

So here we are.

I'm humbled and amazed and so thankful that God would want me to be part of this. Abigail is already telling everyone "My Mommy is going to Nepal in December to preach the Gospel." I said yes months ago, but it wasn't until recently that I found out exactly what I would do there. What do I have to offer? What is God orchestrating in the midst of my doubt?

Well, 11 years ago God put a vision on my heart that I penned into a notebook. It was too big for me to do. For me to do.

But GOD...

To be continued...

*Click here if you missed Part 1.