This past year has stretched me in ways that I would never have foreseen, forcing me to be vulnerable and dependent on others hospitality. As we prepared to move into a house, purchasing a used washer and dryer for our own convenience as laundry is an unavoidable necessity, I am processing how significant this has become.
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These past few months I have dumped large loads of laundry at our campus pastors house. I have been given access to come and do laundry, even when they were out of town. They have 5 kids and somehow manage to not have their laundry room door bursting open.
I've talked about our community here in North Carolina and I don't ever want to take this beautiful, vulnerable season for granted.
I hope to glean life lessons for years to come from this awkward and stretching season this past year has been.
Recently, I tried to think of all the houses and places we have done laundry at this past year. I didn't keep track of how many times we went to the laundromat or how much it all added up to. I do remember one event, and like my rotten self does best, I remember the worst moment and honestly, I never want to forget it. Not because it was "bad" or sad, or lonely, or embarrassing, or a whole slew of emotions- but because of what I learned from it.
We parked for two weeks at Falls Lake State Park in Durham, NC. Craig was out of state with our escape vehicle and the kids and I were fighting some kind of bug. It was honestly a really raw and lonely time. I felt like I was failing as a Mom in every way. I was super sick and I pulled a few all-nighters taking care of sick kids those first few days Craig was gone. My physical state was reflecting my mental and emotional state and I truly thought I might lose my mind in the whole mess.
Using my friends borrowed car while she worked, I spent over $20 at laundromats in just a few days. I even strung a clothesline between the trees at the State Park, with knots and loops that would have made my former Boy Scout husband frown. It was an effort to save money doing laundry. And then my sweet sick kid threw up/ peed the bed (I honestly don't remember which one, or both- action or kid!)
I was sick, frustrated and my patience was long gone. The timing of the bedding incident was horrible. Not that there is ever a good time for your kids to pee/ vomit the bed, but when you're living in 300+ square feet, the stench overpowers all living space. For real, I'm not trying to be gross, or overly dramatic. My dear friend was moving out of a rough housing situation and came to visit for just a few nights as she moved in to another house. Welcome to my "Tiny House" of sickness. She was heading to a friends house and sent a quick text asking if I could bring a load of laundry because my kid *ahem* you know...
She was denied.
I was denied.
My kid was denied.
An awkwardness fell over us when my friend tried to find the words to explain the response she got. It hurt. It didn't make sense. They didn't want their "new" washer getting gross with what needed to be washed.
Washing machines have the ability to clean some of the nastiest stuff you can imagine. I'll let you think about some of these things-
Bloody sheets, poop stained underwear, peed in pants, vomit, dog and cat fur/ dander, work clothes from dirty job sites, scrubs (with all kinds of bodily fluids), cloth diapers, baby spit up... I could go on.
It isn't sweet and fresh like the Downy commercial. Sometimes we need to run another cycle because "it" didn't come out the first time. The point is, washing machines are made to take this mess and make it clean. To clean what we would rather not touch, because dear me if I have to get another whiff of whatever was on that blanket! It is dirty and messy. And if you are so privileged to never experience this, well then, bless your heart.
So, all of this got me thinking, and I just couldn't shake it-
I am too dirty to come to you in my current state, yet you are in seminary and are teaching Bible classes.
I'm not mad at this person for denying me use of their washing machine because they didn't want my stuff to dirty up their life, I mean washing machine. However, it lite a fire in me that did make me angry. Because they are Christians, in seminary, serving at a church and teaching Bible classes, but they couldn't reach out to a sister in Christ and serve me in a simple need that I had. I know that sounds desperate, and selfish, but follow me here- if we can't do unto our family in Christ, then how could we ever imagine doing unto "the least of these." Are you following me? I'm totally throwing these people I really don't know under the bus in an effort to express a critical point.
The talk around Christian circles to "love your neighbor" is offensive if you aren't actually loving your neighbor.
But what's even greater- am I going beyond being kind, doing "good", or doing the "right thing", actually stretching myself and sacrificing so others might benefit, even if it costs me. I talked about it some in my last blog post The Nations Next Door.
Last week, as I did my last load of laundry at our campus pastors house, I thanked my friend Tiffany for allowing me the use of her washer and dryer these last few months. She simply said "well, of course. I mean, you're right down the road and I have a washer and dryer, you don't. Why wouldn't I?"
Why wouldn't I.
Sweet friend, if only you knew how profound your action and your heart behind it were to me, like a healing balm. Because in that short sentence, she said it all- Why wouldn't I?
Good grief- if you're still reading this, this is my point- IT IS THE HEART behind our action. Our actions reflect our hearts. Our heart will come out in our actions. And while I don't make a habit of pointing out others faults, my hope is for you to see how a very simple "no" or "yes" can impact someone.
Without delving into this story on Instagram, I did share a bit about how this whole journey with laundry is moving me to action. Check it out here on Instagram JustWrightHere
I don't want to forget this story and how it didn't just hurt in the moment, but how it forced me to check my own heart and actions. It illuminated the kindness and hospitality I received each time I did laundry at someones house. We bought a great used washer and dryer for our rental house, and if you ever find yourself in Whitsett, North Carolina and need to do laundry, come on over!
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