He Turns it into Praise

If you were reading last week, I posted a few entries on Abigail's surgery. It was a rough two weeks as we received a rather large sum of medical bills just days before her surgery, adding to the stress and worry in my heart.

I heard about, looked into and prayed about a potential part time job this summer to help pay for those bills. The day before her surgery, as I prayed some more about this job I just really felt God pressing it on my heart that I was pursuing this out of anxiety and not seeking God's provision. I don't believe that we should sit around and wait for God to provide and not be willing to work, so this was a moment of revelation to me. Taking this job would add such stress to our family during this already busy season of our lives and I would be sacrificing our ministry along the way. I don't believe that either my family or ministry has any room for sacrifice right now, especially when we are working so hard with events and support raising.

That all being said, I didn't understand why God was saying "no" but I needed to trust Him. 

The next week was filled with Abigail's surgery and recovery. And receiving yet more medical bills (why insurance doesn't process things at the same time, or why we (were) paying SO much for health insurance that hardly covered anything baffles me... we have since transitioned our family to MediShare, a Christian Health-Co-op. LOVE the model of this organization and their firm Biblical practices.)

Last Thursday, as I carried a mud covered 2 year old up from the car, we picked the mail out of our mailbox to find a letter addressed to Craig and myself with no return address. There was a note inside, with no signature. And a bank check was enclosed. Craig came home just moments later. I told him he better sit down before opening it.

This was the scripture reference written on the note:

Have you not known? Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

    the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He does not faint or grow weary;

     his understanding is unsearchable.

²⁹ 

He gives power to the faint,

    and to him who has no might he increases strength.

³⁰ 

Even youths shall faint and be weary,

    and young men shall fall exhausted;

³¹ 

but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;

    they shall mount up with wings like eagles;

they shall run and not be weary;

    they shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31

I didn't understand why God was saying no to me taking a part time job, we NEEDED the money. I don't understand His goodness and why He chose to bless us by using one of His children to anonymously bless our socks off. He always provides. He is SO good.

The craziest part is this- several weeks ago I had a dream that we received the EXACT amount that our anonymous giver gifted us. I thought that my dream was meant for our support raising. I realized days after we received this gift that the vision of my dream had been fulfilled.

Sometimes, it is easy to let our hearts be filled with jealously when we read a story like this. I know. My sin-heart can get the best of me when I hear that someone was able to raise full support in just a few short months. The truth is, our Father is a GREAT GIVER and He LOVES to bless this kids and blow their minds  for His glory. The way He shares His provision looks different. If I dwell on all the craziness (both good and scary) of the past few months I can find my mind wasting away. I need to read this story over and over again myself, to remember how good He is. It's too easy to forget.